tell me more tell me more
I find this quite a rare yet exciting predicament to be caught in, so I thought I'd share it.
I was recently having a chat with one of the few who can call themselves my few ex-girl, but choose not to (I have exactly a few ex-girls). We dated for a very short while in High-school; it was the very dramatic, short lived, stereo-typical normal High-school relationship.
Things were done which shouldn't have been done. Words were spoken which shouldn't have been said. Lies were told and secrets were kept.
I was sure what slipped out during this conversation with spoken ex wasn't actually a secret anymore... turns out it was.
Growing up I always had a natural ability to connect with friends parents. I always figured it was probably due to my beautifully kept long blonde hair, my trusting friendly smile, or my calming green eyes... perhaps a combination of all three. I looked a lot like Luke Skywalker. The fact was they trusted me, more than they trusted their own children. I would sometimes get calls from friends asking if I would go to some party because they couldn't go unless I was there.
I know - pretty ridiculous, but true, and you get the point.
So I got this girlfriend who has this mum, and we've been going solid for about a week (a month of hand holding high-school time) when I bump into said-ex-girlfriend's mum at the shops, we'll call her 'Shelly'.
Shelly: Oh hello Shaun, great to see you
Shaun: Oh... hey Mrs "Moschie"
Shelly: It's great to see you here, you know said-ex always talks about you... I'm really glad you guys are together
Shaun: Ah... okay... thanks. Me too.
Shelly: So I imagine your going out this Friday? Got plenty on? You know said-ex is working.
Shaun: Actually this Friday I have absolutely nothing on, I'm really just going to be my sad lonely self and stay home - this is me attempting light humour to end the conversation
This was when shit got weird. Little did you teenage Shaun suspect, but devious Shelly had a plan.
Shelly: You should come over for dinner and a drink
Shaun: Didn't you say said-ex was working?
There was a moments pause, accompanied with uncomfortable silence, folding of hands and complete expression change on behalf of Shelly; from loving lady to 'you just stole my eggs' lady.
Shelly: Oh, so you don't want to come and see me? I thought you liked said-ex
Shaun: No, no! It's not that, I do! I've just...
Shelly: You said you have nothing on.
Shaun: Uh... Yeah, but
Shelly: So come and have dinner and we'll talk about her and your future
A large moments pause. I waited for her to crack a smile. I prayed this was a joke... I blinked. She didn't even blink back.
I held my hands out to my sides, open palms up.
Shaun: Ok?
Shelly: 7:30 Friday, said-ex gets home at 9:30 so you can stay until then
Shaun: Um. So we won't tell her?
Shelly: Probably not a good idea
That was it. I had a secret date with my girlfriend's mum. Do you know how difficult it is to keep something like that secret? I obviously told my friends, who agreed that I was a weak little pansy for being conned into such a thing.
************* The night of the date ************************
Shelly cooked me a roast and fed me big cans of Guiness all night. By 8:30 I was so drunk I was mumbling my words more than any male teenager normally does.
Shelly: Said-ex is a bit troubled, she doesn't realise how great you are... I want you two to be together for a long time
Shaun: .....yeah! totally... we'll totally be together... for ages
Shelly: Make sure you don't give her too much space though
Shaun: pfff.... space? me? I totally wouldn't do that
Shelly: Good. Here have another drink
By 9:30 we'd talked all about my and ex's future. I'm sure in her heart she thought was doing the right thing... or she just liked screwing with people, either way by then I had completely switched off to this completely awkward situation and placed myself in a Fast-Forward skit, complete with canned laughter and ad breaks. By the time I left I was so drunk I couldn't walk in a straight line.
From vague memory I'm quite sure I saw ex's car pull up, but I might just be making that up to enrich the story.
This story stayed secret between myself, Shelly and my friends for about 10 years... Up until 1 week ago.
*******************1 week ago****************************
I'm talking to ex online, which is what jogged this whole memory. I know the moment isn't really captured that well in a sectioned chat, but I'll include it anyways. You can imagine the facial expressions yourself.
......
Shaun: .... yeah they was crazy times, like that time I had that dinner with your mum and kept it secret from you
Ex: You did what????
Shaun:... I'm pretty sure you found out about that
Ex: You did what????
Thinking Shaun: I'm gonna blog the shit outa this one
So since that crazy date, I pretty much worked on my image and made it a lot harder for folks to like me so much. The problem is you need to find the right balance.
I'm honestly not sure whats worse, them loving you too much, or just not liking/trusting you at all. I can say I've had both and neither are fun.
I was recently having a chat with one of the few who can call themselves my few ex-girl, but choose not to (I have exactly a few ex-girls). We dated for a very short while in High-school; it was the very dramatic, short lived, stereo-typical normal High-school relationship.
Things were done which shouldn't have been done. Words were spoken which shouldn't have been said. Lies were told and secrets were kept.
I was sure what slipped out during this conversation with spoken ex wasn't actually a secret anymore... turns out it was.
Growing up I always had a natural ability to connect with friends parents. I always figured it was probably due to my beautifully kept long blonde hair, my trusting friendly smile, or my calming green eyes... perhaps a combination of all three. I looked a lot like Luke Skywalker. The fact was they trusted me, more than they trusted their own children. I would sometimes get calls from friends asking if I would go to some party because they couldn't go unless I was there.I know - pretty ridiculous, but true, and you get the point.
So I got this girlfriend who has this mum, and we've been going solid for about a week (a month of hand holding high-school time) when I bump into said-ex-girlfriend's mum at the shops, we'll call her 'Shelly'.
Shelly: Oh hello Shaun, great to see you
Shaun: Oh... hey Mrs "Moschie"
Shelly: It's great to see you here, you know said-ex always talks about you... I'm really glad you guys are together
Shaun: Ah... okay... thanks. Me too.
Shelly: So I imagine your going out this Friday? Got plenty on? You know said-ex is working.
Shaun: Actually this Friday I have absolutely nothing on, I'm really just going to be my sad lonely self and stay home - this is me attempting light humour to end the conversation
This was when shit got weird. Little did you teenage Shaun suspect, but devious Shelly had a plan.
Shelly: You should come over for dinner and a drink
Shaun: Didn't you say said-ex was working?
There was a moments pause, accompanied with uncomfortable silence, folding of hands and complete expression change on behalf of Shelly; from loving lady to 'you just stole my eggs' lady.
Shelly: Oh, so you don't want to come and see me? I thought you liked said-ex
Shaun: No, no! It's not that, I do! I've just...
Shelly: You said you have nothing on.
Shaun: Uh... Yeah, but
Shelly: So come and have dinner and we'll talk about her and your future
A large moments pause. I waited for her to crack a smile. I prayed this was a joke... I blinked. She didn't even blink back.
I held my hands out to my sides, open palms up.
Shaun: Ok?
Shelly: 7:30 Friday, said-ex gets home at 9:30 so you can stay until then
Shaun: Um. So we won't tell her?
Shelly: Probably not a good idea
That was it. I had a secret date with my girlfriend's mum. Do you know how difficult it is to keep something like that secret? I obviously told my friends, who agreed that I was a weak little pansy for being conned into such a thing.
************* The night of the date ************************
Shelly cooked me a roast and fed me big cans of Guiness all night. By 8:30 I was so drunk I was mumbling my words more than any male teenager normally does.
Shelly: Said-ex is a bit troubled, she doesn't realise how great you are... I want you two to be together for a long time
Shaun: .....yeah! totally... we'll totally be together... for ages
Shelly: Make sure you don't give her too much space though
Shaun: pfff.... space? me? I totally wouldn't do that
Shelly: Good. Here have another drink
By 9:30 we'd talked all about my and ex's future. I'm sure in her heart she thought was doing the right thing... or she just liked screwing with people, either way by then I had completely switched off to this completely awkward situation and placed myself in a Fast-Forward skit, complete with canned laughter and ad breaks. By the time I left I was so drunk I couldn't walk in a straight line.
From vague memory I'm quite sure I saw ex's car pull up, but I might just be making that up to enrich the story.
This story stayed secret between myself, Shelly and my friends for about 10 years... Up until 1 week ago.
*******************1 week ago****************************
I'm talking to ex online, which is what jogged this whole memory. I know the moment isn't really captured that well in a sectioned chat, but I'll include it anyways. You can imagine the facial expressions yourself.
......
Shaun: .... yeah they was crazy times, like that time I had that dinner with your mum and kept it secret from you
Ex: You did what????
Shaun:... I'm pretty sure you found out about that
Ex: You did what????
Thinking Shaun: I'm gonna blog the shit outa this one
So since that crazy date, I pretty much worked on my image and made it a lot harder for folks to like me so much. The problem is you need to find the right balance.
I'm honestly not sure whats worse, them loving you too much, or just not liking/trusting you at all. I can say I've had both and neither are fun.
