the clone of Ben Harper
1 hour before the strangest gig
I was sitting below a tree with some new uni friends strumming my guitar. The air was cool, the sun was hot so we were sitting in the shade. It was nice. Calming.
45 minutes before the strangest gig
I was driving on my way up the Reid Highway to get Gem. There was no cool wind in my three cylander car. My shirt was gradually becoming wet with sweat as it was sticking to my back. I lowered the seat to sit upright, this didn't offer much comfort.
15 minutes before the strangest gig
Gem and I were driving along the coast wondering where the hell ECU in Joondalup is. Gem doesn't like looking through road maps, but eventually she got it out.
5 minutes before the strangest gig
Gem and I are walking around ECU in Joondalup realising that we had no idea where I was supposed to be. We just aimlessly perused around until I was stopped by the clone of Ben Harper. He had brownish skin, an afro and small sideburns. He was tall. He talked kind slow-like. He asked us
"are you playing for guild day?"
I said sure, I'm just trying to find the guy that gave me the gig. He told me
"uh, that guy isn't here, but if you want to play you're welcome to"
I said okay, just let me get my stuff together. He asked me
"Hey, do you want to play first? I'm not a very good singer or guitarist, so that would be kinda cool. Plus how about we dont use a PA? I think that would really sound the best, what do you think? keep it close"
I said okay, whatever.
When we walked in I noticed there was no PA. There wasnt a choice which I was given, it was a nicety he provided. So I look around the room. Not many people. I have my beer and I meet his table of friends. I won't be nice about it, they were a bit strange.
So I stand up and say okay, I'll play. I make a formal announcement to the room. I tell them hello, I'm here to play as part of Guild Day, and I hope they enjoy it. Somebody yells out
"you're gonna have to play well to impress me, I only like listening to [clone of Ben Harper]."
I say I'll try my best.
So I play my songs, mostly my own songs and I put a bit of soul into it, mixed with a bit of humor. It felt strange, no PA, no amplification of any sorts. Plus I was sitting in front of the bar. So people were ordering drinks behind me.
I felt like I was just sitting in the middle of a bar, just playing songs to a few people. I guess thats because thats exactly what I was doing.
It went ok.
After the set I thank the people in front of me and a heckler says quite loud
"yeh good whatever, glad thats over"
so I looked at him, and saw his friends and girlfriends staring at him in disbelief.
I calmly ask him if he can play, he said
"no, i cant play well, it usually ends in disaster"
So i ask him if he'd like to play now, he says
"no not really"
so out of character and quite lould I tell him to "shut the fuck up then". And he does, strangely enough.
So then the clone of Ben Harper tells me and Gem and all the people at the table that he is not very good, he's repeated this a few times now, and he says he only started two years ago.
Try telling that to the smoke that was coming off his $4,000 Martic & Co fretboard while he was carving up his big fat diminished and augmented chords at about 4 chords a second. Also singing along at the same time I might add.
So I sat through his set, I don't think they were his own songs to the best of my knowledge, he didn't say they were anybody elses songs and I believe in giving credit when doing so, but I did recognise a couple of them.
That whole time he played his friends didn't talk to Gem nor I, nor each other for that fact. He finished playing and didn't say any more than two words at a time to me.
So I left, wondering what the hell just happened.
I was sitting below a tree with some new uni friends strumming my guitar. The air was cool, the sun was hot so we were sitting in the shade. It was nice. Calming.
45 minutes before the strangest gig
I was driving on my way up the Reid Highway to get Gem. There was no cool wind in my three cylander car. My shirt was gradually becoming wet with sweat as it was sticking to my back. I lowered the seat to sit upright, this didn't offer much comfort.
15 minutes before the strangest gig
Gem and I were driving along the coast wondering where the hell ECU in Joondalup is. Gem doesn't like looking through road maps, but eventually she got it out.
5 minutes before the strangest gig
Gem and I are walking around ECU in Joondalup realising that we had no idea where I was supposed to be. We just aimlessly perused around until I was stopped by the clone of Ben Harper. He had brownish skin, an afro and small sideburns. He was tall. He talked kind slow-like. He asked us
"are you playing for guild day?"
I said sure, I'm just trying to find the guy that gave me the gig. He told me
"uh, that guy isn't here, but if you want to play you're welcome to"
I said okay, just let me get my stuff together. He asked me
"Hey, do you want to play first? I'm not a very good singer or guitarist, so that would be kinda cool. Plus how about we dont use a PA? I think that would really sound the best, what do you think? keep it close"
I said okay, whatever.
When we walked in I noticed there was no PA. There wasnt a choice which I was given, it was a nicety he provided. So I look around the room. Not many people. I have my beer and I meet his table of friends. I won't be nice about it, they were a bit strange.
So I stand up and say okay, I'll play. I make a formal announcement to the room. I tell them hello, I'm here to play as part of Guild Day, and I hope they enjoy it. Somebody yells out
"you're gonna have to play well to impress me, I only like listening to [clone of Ben Harper]."
I say I'll try my best.
So I play my songs, mostly my own songs and I put a bit of soul into it, mixed with a bit of humor. It felt strange, no PA, no amplification of any sorts. Plus I was sitting in front of the bar. So people were ordering drinks behind me.
I felt like I was just sitting in the middle of a bar, just playing songs to a few people. I guess thats because thats exactly what I was doing.
It went ok.
After the set I thank the people in front of me and a heckler says quite loud
"yeh good whatever, glad thats over"
so I looked at him, and saw his friends and girlfriends staring at him in disbelief.
I calmly ask him if he can play, he said
"no, i cant play well, it usually ends in disaster"
So i ask him if he'd like to play now, he says
"no not really"
so out of character and quite lould I tell him to "shut the fuck up then". And he does, strangely enough.
So then the clone of Ben Harper tells me and Gem and all the people at the table that he is not very good, he's repeated this a few times now, and he says he only started two years ago.
Try telling that to the smoke that was coming off his $4,000 Martic & Co fretboard while he was carving up his big fat diminished and augmented chords at about 4 chords a second. Also singing along at the same time I might add.
So I sat through his set, I don't think they were his own songs to the best of my knowledge, he didn't say they were anybody elses songs and I believe in giving credit when doing so, but I did recognise a couple of them.
That whole time he played his friends didn't talk to Gem nor I, nor each other for that fact. He finished playing and didn't say any more than two words at a time to me.
So I left, wondering what the hell just happened.
